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The Meaning of BDSM Experiences

Nov 08, 2019

The term BDSM identifies a wide range of relational and / or erotic practices that allow sharing fantasies based on pain, the imbalance of power and / or humiliation between two or more consenting adult partners who draw from these satisfactions and pleasure.

BDSM is in fact an acronym that stands for:

    - Bondage & Discipline (B&D)
    - Domination & Submission (D / s or Ds)
    - Sadism & Masochism (S&M or SM)

There are many practices that can be traced back to these macro-categories, and each person could be interested only in one or many of them; for this reason those who intend to start doing BDSM with a new partner usually open an open confrontation on mutual tastes, in some cases arriving at detailed negotiations of what they will do.

Within the BDSM community there are moments of pure conviviality and socialization, through meetings called munches hosted in public places. The munches, which do not involve the performance of any BDSM activity and do not require any dresscode, also represent an opportunity for curious and newcomers to become familiar with the themes and philosophy dear to this environment.

Roles in BDSM

A BDSM relationship, whether it is an occasional meeting or a real relationship structured over time, involves one party that has control over the other. The first thing that every person interested in BDSM is therefore called to choose is whether he wants to be the dominant person or the submissive person. People who are interested in both sides of the relationship are called switches. A switch can choose to have a relationship in the dominant role with one person and one subject with another (at the same time or at different times in his life), or choose to look for a (or more) switch partner with whom to live a fluidity of roles.

The relationship between a dominant and a submissive is called D / s.

In reality, however, Ds is only a part of the acronym and some people are only interested in some of the other aspects. People interested in implementing BDSM practices but without creating domination and submission dynamics are called "top" (if they appreciate the active role) or "bottom" (for those who prefer to be passive). The so-called dom and sub (dominant and submissive) may prefer to be either top or bottom or even switch, without a fixed role.

On the contrary they are called master or mistress, in Italian master or mistress, people with an ongoing relationship in the time in which the Ds part is predominant. Their counterpart is a slave, or a slave or a slave.

Consent
Woman chained to a wall

The BDSM has as its basic rule the full consent of both parties. These are erotic practices that, even if they sometimes appear to be external acts of violence, are instead desired by all involved. In BDSM, and because it can be called such, there is no compulsion, coercion or plagiarism.

An equal agreement is established between knowledgeable people, and even if this agreement subsequently can come to sanction the submission of one party to another, it must always remain the possibility of changing one’s mind at any time and for any reason. For this purpose it is very useful to agree on the use of a specific safety word, in English safeword, which acts as an unequivocal signal for the interruption of the dynamics.

The ultimate goal remains the well-being of all. Well-being that does not always or not necessarily equate to sexual satisfaction, since in some people it is precisely frustration, suffering or pain that causes intense mental pleasure, or the idea that one’s pleasure is not guaranteed but depends on will of another person.

Over time, many have ventured into tracing the ethical framework within which to include BDSM. Among all the famous formula coined by the activist David Stain in 1984 should be mentioned: "Safe, Sane and Consensual" (SSC), which can be translated into Italian with "Safe, Healthy and Consensual", with the aim:

"To distinguish the type of consensual S&M to which I was interested by the abusive, criminal, neurotic and self-destructive type generally associated with the term sadomasochism."

The acronym SSC was a huge success until it became a flag.

In 1999 another BDSM activist, Gary Switch, noticed how many people hid behind a definition of healthy and falsely absolute, instead of reflecting from time to time on these concepts actually always doubtful and approximate (nothing can be sure at 100 %). Thus proposed the initials RACK "Risk Aware Consensual Kink" translatable as "consensual erotic game with risk awareness".

More info you can find on Wikipedia >> link BDSM <<

See you next friends !